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18th March, 2021 |

5 minutes

"I was leading a double life and that felt so wrong."

Sandra Brydon (she/her)

Sandra is Home Group's former director for Scotland

My parents moved just outside of Edinburgh when I was two years old. I had a happy childhood but in a very conservative family where what others thought was very important and feelings weren’t really talked about.

I left school at 16 and spent 18 months in a bank filing cheques and sending out bank statements; hating the job!

I applied for a role in a human resources department of a housing association knowing nothing about social housing and spent the next 40 years working in this sector.

I am a lesbian but it took a lot of years (and therapy) to feel able and proud to say that. I didn’t come out to anyone until I was 40 and struggled through my 30s knowing that I was gay but not sure how to deal with it.

I had significant self-esteem issues which hindered my confidence and willingness to accept being different.


Telling my family was traumatic for me but I was leading a double life and that felt so wrong. My parents took a bit of time to understand but the rejection that I had feared just wasn’t a reality.

I met my now wife almost 30 years ago – a friend of a friend and we have had many conversations about what if I’d been out – would we have got together way back then? We had our civil partnership in 2012 when I turned 50 and then ‘upgraded’ when the new legislation came in in 2015.

Amazingly I am also a granny now – my wife’s daughter (and her wife) had a wee boy (Frank).

I have fabulous friends and we share such a lot of history supporting each other through anything that life brings us. I feel very blessed to have these strong amazing women in my life. Believing in myself and allowing myself to be me is one of my greatest achievements.

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