I worked for the Samaritans and noticed lots of the people calling were also queer and very distressed about it. This made me want to make a difference for people like me, so I moved to work for a youth service called Breakout Youth which I found very rewarding. This led to me joining the organisers of Southampton Pride, and I’m now one of the directors that makes it happen every year.
Planning the first ever Southampton Pride is one of my greatest achievements; seeing the young people from the youth service waving their flags proudly had a profound impact on me and has made me continue as an activist. Last year I started volunteering for an LGBT plus radio show called Southampton Spectrum, where we have LGBT plus people and our allies as guests. We discuss things that matter to us as a community and promote queer performers.
Coming out as gay never felt right but I knew I was attracted to men, so I thought it was my only option. I suppressed my attraction to women and just didn’t talk about it. Finding my husband and being with him for over 25 years has made me happy, but I needed to work on accepting myself too. I only recently came out as bisexual and it doesn’t change anything about my marriage; I love my husband – it’s about accepting myself and not self-censoring.
My husband has been amazingly supportive but many of my gay friends have found it hard to accept, which is challenging.
I’m determined to live my truth and show other bi men that’s it’s okay to just be who they are.
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